


You’re My Somebody

by kstarlight



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Breakups, Confessions, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hyunjin deserves happiness, M/M, Mentions of alcohol and drugs, Protective Jisung, Toxic Relationships, hyunsung enthusiast, im sorry Minho I love you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:00:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24033160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kstarlight/pseuds/kstarlight
Summary: Hyunjin mused. It seemed what he needed had always been here."I'm happy you're the somebody I was looking for all along."
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han & Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 118





	You’re My Somebody

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by late night hours spent listening to The 1975.

Having a best friend, a constant that you could call your true soulmate was all that mattered in life. That's what Jisung thought. 

There's a saying he always thinks of, about how money is not what makes you a successful person in life, but rather it's having a strong friendship, that makes you something even more than successful. 

Hyunjin and Jisung always counted on each other to make their lives worth the meaning of the word 'successful'. When it came to their friendship, there wasn't another like it. They were one another's support, comfort, strength, solace,  love—  even if it be platonic. And when things went wrong, or other people entered their lives and they faced distance, there was still nothing that could ever change them. Their bond never failed, and that was just them. Hyunjin and Jisung. 

They were like moon and stars, when the time was right it would always be the two of them. Together. 

College was probably the most crazy time of everyone's life, though Jisung's sophomore year was proving to be pretty simple, and it would have remained that way if not for the unexpected news that came in the middle of his third semester.

Hyunjin and Minho, of all the people in their friend group, were dating. 

It was a shock to their friends, who were the local advocates for Hyunjin and Jisung getting together someday, considering how obvious Jisung tended to be. It was one of those things everyone seemed to know, even if it hadn't been said. Everyone but Hyunjin, more dense than Jisung and his fear of expressing how he truly felt, knew of the feelings the blond had for his best friend.

And now the relationship between the two dancers dating was supposed  gossip to Jisung,  because it happened suddenly and he had heard about it from from Felix and Seungmin, instead of Hyunjin himself.

"You never even told us you had a crush on  him," Jisung stressed to Hyunjin that night in the olders dorm. 

The revelation of Hyunjin's relationship hadn't left the music majors mind since his conversation with his other two friends.

Hyunjin stifled a huff, trying not to let Jisung’s persistence of the situation get to him. He didn't want to argue with Jisung about something that wasn't even a problem. Why did he even care so much? 

"It was slow.. I don't know. We decided today that we'd like to try it out," the raven haired boy shuffled about the room, organizing his desk as a distraction. 

Jisung watched him knowingly, aware the actions were nothing more than Hyunjin's useless attempt to preoccupy himself from the conversation. 

Hyunjin ran a hand through his hair and shrugged, his shoulders heavy. "It wasn't like we pinned over each other for months and suddenly had the big ' _will_ _you_ _go out with me?_ '  moment. It just— it happened."

Jisung still didn't seem to understand. Or maybe he just didn’t want to accept it.

"Okay... but I wish  you  had told me rather than dumb and dumber," he pouted, and he  knew  it was childish but for some reason it was a good way of expressing how this whole thing was making him feel. 

"Jisung," Hyunjin turned around, sounding a bit breathless. Not only did Jisung  sound  dejected, but Hyunjin realized he also looked it, his frown deepening, and his gaze half hidden beneath the fringe of his messy blond bangs.

"Sungie.. why do you care?" Hyunjin asked gently.

Jisung looked up, chest suddenly burning with passion . 

" What?"  He all but squawked at the question. His heart was beating faster, pounding so hard it made him feel light headed even if he was sitting down. He didn't understand how Hyunjin could ask that. Why  _wouldn't_ he care?

Hyunjin raised his hands in surrender at the notice of Jisung's distress, and shook his head at the flicker of emotion in his face.

"Never mind," He turned around to avoid the very sudden blush of color in his cheeks, gulping down an uneasy feeling. "Does it bother you this much?" 

Jisung stilled, and then softly, "I just want you to be happy," the embarrassment in his face was slowly draining, replaced for earnest. "I like to know you're okay, and I just-" he groaned, trying to find the right words for justification that weren't  _'I_ _love_ _you_ ' . He let out a quivering exhale. "We're best friends, Jinnie, and—"

"We'll always be best friends," the dancer sat next to him startlingly, cutting off his words. His face looked serious yet soft at the same time. Jisung studied him, mesmerized by the gleam in his eyes, so tempting and deep to get lost in. "I promise I'll always come to you. You come first." 

Hyunjin squeezed Jisung's hand, making the younger surely see stars, but the dancer was happy that he returned the gesture.

Jisung's lashes fluttered endearingly as a smile curved onto his lips in the shape of a heart.

Maybe they'd be okay. 

Hyunjin always came to Jisung. 

When things with Minho started getting hard after about a month, Hyunjin was determined that he didn't want to break it off yet. He wanted to work at it. But seeking advice from Jisung was the first thing on his mind.

He had rushed to Jisung's dorm, the boy obviously not hesitating to invite him in and ask what's wrong, seeing as the taller seemed stressed.

They cuddled on Jisung's bed for hours. Jisung had a tight, comforting hold around Hyunjin's waist, thumbing at his hips as a gesture of ease, trying to calm him. Hyunjin said he wanted to get out of Minho's apartment for the night, and he didn't want to be in his dorm alone since Seungmin was out with Felix, though he knew regardless that Jisung was the only person he need— _wanted_ right now. And Jisung was nobody strong enough to look Hwang Hyunjin in his teary eyes and tell him he couldn't stay the night.

Hyunjin nuzzled his head into Jisung's shoulder, letting out a quivered exhale as he found strength to explain. 

"He has these other friends," Hyunjin explained. "Hyung never really mentioned them much before, but they make him happy, in a not so good way," He grimaced.

"What do you mean?" Jisung asked, starting to strum his fingers through Hyunjin's hair.

"They're into drugs,  big time,  and alcohol and partying, and probably other illegal things hyung won't tell me about," Hyunjin laughed it off with the wave of his hand but the sound lacked humor, numb under any emotion. "The most Minho does around me is get drunk, but that's as far as I know. He tried weed twice, and he's brought guys back to the apartment who were high and that made me—" he stopped as a shiver slithered down his spine, his body shuddering. He grew subconscious knowing Jisung felt it, and suddenly he wished to pull away.

Jisung changed their position to get a better look at Hyunjin's face. His eyes softened, the olders eyes were timid and written out with exhaustion that Jisung had never seen in him before. 

"Do you feel safe?" Jisung worried his lip between his teeth.

"Sometimes I don't.." Hyunjin feigned, as if admitting it wasn't worth it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jisung frowned against Hyunjin's chest. 

"I don't know," a dreamy sigh escaped the dancers lips. "I like Minho hyung, a lot. It scares me, because it happened so fast but I know I— I know I want to stay."

Jisung felt a pain shoot through the center of his heart. He had feelings that kinda scared him too, a lot of them, and knowing his best friend felt that same way, with that sense of urgency and desire, gripping around his heart like a thorn studded vine tipped with a dark red, stunning rose, all for someone who wasn't who wasn't even treating him the way he deserved, it made Jisung turn cold. 

"Minho hyung likes you," Jisung found himself forcing reassurances out, of all the things he could've said. The words seethed through his lips, only worth it when Hyunjin glanced up and offered a small smile. 

"I'm sure," Jisung continued, hesitantly, "Hyung will come around. He's not a shitty person."

Jisung loved Minho like a brother, they'd been friends for a long time, but he didn't love this situation. He hated knowing Minho was reckless because of other reckless people and possibly risking Hyunjin's happiness and most  importantly safety in the process. It wasn't fair.

The dancer in Jisung's arms hummed, "I hope you're right." He snuggled closer, unaware of how it made Jisung's throat tighten.

They fell asleep that way. 

Jisung knew it couldn't, but he still wished it would last forever. 

A few days later and Hyunjin's eyes were bloodshot from tears when he showed up at Jisung's dorm after walking all the way there through the pouring rain.

Without missing a beat Jisung pulled him inside, bewildered. Hyunjin shrugged off his sweatshirt hood revealing his hair, matted from the fabric but thankfully dry so at least he wouldn't be _too_ cold. Still Jisung brushed a hand across his cheek, frowning at the temperature of his skin.

"You're cold," he noted. Hyunjin seemed indifferent to the observation, his hollow eyes trained at his feet. Jisung cleared his throat. 

"Hey what's wrong—" 

Jisung stopped when Hyunjin lifted his head, revealing the red in his eyes where white should be.

They ended up in Jisung's bed, avoiding any conversation for the sake of Hyunjin's emotional state being kept at bay. Jisung could tell something was wrong and he didn't need to ask and resurface any pain when the older might not have felt ready for it. He knew better that the last thing Hyunjin needed was conversation.

Hyunjin needed touch, with still a hint of space in the absence of conversation. He needed tranquility and simplicity. He needed his best friend right beside him, the feeling of someone in his arms to remind he wasn't alone, and he didn't have to feel afraid of whatever negativity was raging like tidal waves through his head.

He stirred in his anxieties, swirled up while Jisung played with his fingers on his left hand, preoccupying himself and successfully distracting Hyunjin too. 

The younger knew the only thing he could do was be a silent steady presence, and ignore the need for questioning and explanation or the prompting of a conversation. Hyunjin was clearly too upset. 

Something serious must have happened for him to show up at 1am in the pouring rain and not even say why or adhere to explain. Of course, Jisung didn't need a reason, he'd welcome his best friend anytime, but the state he was in couldn't help concerning him. 

After a prolonged amount of silence, Hyunjin finally sat up with an exhale, ragged from his tired lungs. His eyes fell on Jisung who laid beside him with a soft tut on his lips. Hyunjin looked ready to say something, but he was holding back, so Jisung reached out, his thumb stroking the back of the olders hand.

"Hyunjin?"

Hyunjin closed his eyes. "Minho hyung only kisses me when he's drunk," he whispered.

Jisung blinked, and Hyunjin blinked, once, twice, a few rapid times to clear the increasing glassiness in his line of sight. The image of his best friend's confused face was starting to blur.

"He— what?" Jisung tilted his head.

"Minho only kisses me when he's drunk," Hyunjin repeated, a little louder, with more certainty, like it was a blunt statement undeserving of sentiment. He didn't sound sad, but he looked it beneath the stillness of his face. 

Jisung fought the urge to wrap Hyunjin in a hug and just hold him, he just wanted to shower him in love and kiss his cheek and— _no_. He regfrained, because he still didn't understand the situation, and adding his own feelings to the mix would make it so much worse. But what was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to make this better?

Upon his silence, Hyunjin continued.

"I never kissed him when he was sober. Not on the lips, maybe on the cheek. But when he's drunk he— he can't stop, it's all he wants to do."

Something in Jisung filled with rage, but then he didn't know what for, because he wasn't Minho, and he couldn't make himself try to understand. 

All reasonable people, as Minho did seem, had purpose for their actions, or at least some motivation behind what they did. Jisung tried to tell himself that there a reason for what Minho did. But was there a reason? Why couldn't he see how lucky he was to be with someone like Hyunjin, a selfless sweetheart who might seem intimidating at the surface, but was soft with so many layers and so much to offer, so much pure goodness and love. 

Hyunjin was Jisung's best friend, someone who he would willingly give up everything for because the tall and strikingly handsome boy was so much more beneath his surface. He was soft giggles in response to Jisung's awkward jokes, a shoulder to cry on when the blond couldn't finish his lyrics, a hand to hold when it was cold or Jisung was anxious, he was every missing piece to any void in Jisung's life. But that was just Hyunjin. He'd do anything for anyone, especially Minho. Because he cared, more than enough, too much, until it would hurt him.

Minho only kissed Hyunjin when he was drunk. 

When Minho was drunk, he didn't know better, and didn't feel pressured by reality and expectation and the promise of what a kiss should mean in a relationship. When Minho felt free, weightless, and like all was temporary, that's when he would kiss Hyunjin. 

Only in a fleeting moment— no strings attached. 

"Maybe he's scared," Jisung sighed, because he knew his reassurances couldn't defend Minho, and he didn't know why he kept trying.

"Of what?" Hyunjin sounded defeated, like he had already given up, though he didn't really have plans of leaving his boyfriend anyways.

"Of love?" Jisung cringed and scolded himself because now he was making things worse. He couldn't speak on how Minho feels, he  shouldn't.  He was giving his best friend false hope, and no— drunk kissing was most certainly not love.

"Love?" Hyunjin chuckled, it was a bitter sound but still some tension from Jisung's posture seemed to dissolve. Hyunjin bit his lip. "Minho doesn't love me."

"You don't know that," Jisung jumped, and started to trace circles with his thumb across the inside of Hyunjin's wrist.  The raven haired boy stared at him, plush lips parting. 

"I think I'm in love with Minho." 

Jisung's fingers stopped and he tensed. He should've expected this already, but to hear it from his own self deprecating voice in his head that he knew was mostly his anxiety talking was very different from it being said back to him in reality, in Hyunjin's strained,  soft  voice. 

"Yeah?" Jisung asked breathlessly, watching Hyunjin as he nodded then kept his head down enough to hide his watering eyes. 

Jisung's chest fizzled at the sight of tears trailing down the bridge of Hyunjin's nose, and he reached out to tilt his chin up and quickly catch them. He used the pads of his thumbs to swipe them away and inch closer, swallowing the nerves balling up at the back of his throat. 

Hyunjin eyed him with hesitance, and a warm, fuzzy feeling took over his mind.

"Jisung..." He sounded questioning through his gasp.  He couldn't help idling how the blonds face held so much emotion, a way he'd never seen before. Nobody's ever looked at him like that. Minho didn't look at him like that. 

"Jinnie?" Jisung asked back, his palms resting on his tear stained cheeks. 

The older sniffled, shifting as a watery sound escaped the back of his throat, the smallest, saddest sounding sob Jisung ever heard. Hyunjin collapsed against his chest and let himself cry it all out. Jisung slipped his arms around his waist like he were nothing, frowning at how thin and fragile he felt. He laid them down, face to face so he could continue wiping tears off the boys cheeks, leaving nothing but trails of wetness that glittered like pixie dust under the rose colored lamplight of the room.

"Do you want to stay?" Jisung rubbed Hyunjin's arm as his cries began to cease. 

"I— I should go back," he huffed, staring at the space between him and Jisung. The younger felt desperation take over at those words.

"Don't," he uttered compulsively. 

They stared at each other, the silence speaking more volumes than their voices could. Hyunjin would probably brush it off and Jisung would let him go, like always. But he didn't want to.

"Don't go," Jisung pleaded, taking Hyunjin's hand and intertwining their fingers, they always fit so nicely. "You're exhausted, and you should rest."

Hyunjin thought about Minho's apartment, where all his stuff was for the night as he was supposed to sleep over. Minho himself was there, probably kicked back on the couch with shitty music playing off his phone while downing another bottle of soju. The thought was enough for Hyunjin to shake. 

"Who's going to take care of Minho?" He asked.

Jisung's hopeful smile faltered, and yet he couldn't find himself feeling guilty when he asked instead.

"Who's going to take care of you?" 

After too many minutes of not having answer, Hyunjin gave up. He laid back down, his heart tender when Jisung pulled him closer, and for the first night in a long time he felt loved by someone who was sober.

Hyunjin had finally had enough of being a babysitter to Minho rather than a boyfriend. 

He didn't leave him all alone, he left him in the hands of Chan, somehow smiling through his pain and thanking the older for taking charge. He even felt happy to see Minho would be okay as he left, caring for the olders safety and well being, even despite their screaming match of a breakup. 

And all over again he showed up at Jisung's dorm. 

The younger's heart felt heavy at the sight of Hyunjin's puffy eyes and red face, but his arms, as always, were open. 

"I think I'm hopeless, Sungie," Hyunjin sighed. 

Jisung was singing softly to himself, petting Hyunjin's hair, but he stopped, furrowing at the olders despair. "Why?"

"Nobody will ever love me.."

Jisung felt winded. 

Hyunjin had history of relationships and breakups that had all ended bitterly, and of course it would've caught up to him by now. Even at a young age Hyunjin felt like the world had given up on him, and dealt him a raw hand of misfortune in the game of love. If only he could see the cards across from him, waiting, always waiting.

"That's not true," Jisung pulled Hyunjin over his chest, rubbing circles over his heart. His tongue felt heavy, palms sweaty as he managed to sputter. "You know I- I love you."

He was cold with fear, but Hyunjin, after a hesitant moment, let out a sheepish chuckle that made it momentarily feel futile. 

"D-dont say that Sungie," he looked down, eyes flickering. "That's different." 

Jisung's breathing was speeding up and his muscles tensed.

"Why is it different?" 

Hyunjin pursed his lips and turned away, shrugging. "It just is."

Jisung licked his lips in frustration.

"But—"

"We're best friends. You don't love me like— like love, love." 

Jisung would've laughed at Hyunjin for that because god it was ironic. But he wasn't mad, he felt more protective and comforting over the older than anything, trying to be understanding. He guessed if the roles were reversed, he'd struggle to believe it too. But he was so ready to jump at this opportunity, because honestly how many times would he let the moment slip away. 

With a shallow breath, trying not to let his fears take over, Jisung started again.

"How do you know I don't love you?"

The warmth of the room rushed to Hyunjin's cheeks as if he were basking under the intense sun of August. There was no way Jisung was implying anything Hyunjin could imagine he was.

"What?" Hyunjin asked, his mouth felt incredibly dry. Jisung reeled back slowly. The dancer was staring at him with wide eyes.

Jisung couldn't just say it again.. or could he? He and Hyunjin said they loved each other before, maybe not the same way Jisung meant it now, but in every utter of those three words he'd spoke before, the meaning was always there. Subtly. Only for him to know. But maybe now was better than never for Hyunjin to know too. 

Jisung loved his best friend. He loved Hyunjin.

Hyunjin deserved to know.

Jisung's lips trembled as he scanned the olders face, still hesitantly watching Hyunjin's innocent and misunderstanding eyes travel over him like they were lost at sea and drawn to a guiding light at shore. Jisung swallowed his fear of rejection. Now or never. 

"I love you, Hyunjin." 

Jisung didn't look away, he wasn't one to back down from a challenge once he immersed himself in it. He wouldn't lie, the look on Hyunjin's face was unreadable, and for a moment he assumed the worst, that he might just up and leave. He didn't expect his best friend to spontaneously burst into tears or crumble so easily, but that’s what he did.

Hyunjin weeped, letting tiny gasps escape him in such an open display of vulnerability. He grasped Jisung's sweatshirt with weak fingers, the tears in his eyes rolled over his lash line without stop. And Jisung, who was pinned beneath him, felt frozen, stuck between wishing to comfort him or stay completely still because why was Hyunjin crying? Did he hate him? Did he just mess everything up? 

"J-Jisung," Hyunjin sniffled, pulling back enough to meet the younger's face. "Do you mean that?" 

Jisung flushed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, Jinnie. We can forget—"

"No! No, no, Sungie I—" Hyunjin stopped with a watery laugh, even through everything, the confusion raging in his chest like a storm with the mix of dejection from his breakup and the butterflies from Jisung's warm skin against his, all of it head spinning, he somehow still found himself laughing. "I feel so stupid."

Jisung's mouth formed an _'o_ ' and his brows knit together, contemplating. Hyunjin pouted, and held a firm grip on his best friends waist.

"Sungie... I love you too."

The bed felt like it was swaying, and Jisung didn't know what to hold onto.

"You do?" The words left Jisung's mouth slow and insecurely, still he latched onto Hyunjin's hand with hope. Hyunjin nodded eagerly. 

"I always felt something, Sungie, but I didn't think you did and I got stupid. I was so willing to forget, because you couldn't love someone like me and I could not imagine risking our friendship for anything so trivial. So I wanted to move on, and I looked for love with somebody else," Hyunjin shuddered, eyes glassy but the tears not falling. "But somebody else could never be you."

Hyunjin was hovering over Jisung's face, their noses less than an inch apart. Jisung didn't know what to say, staring at the most beautiful boy in the world, admitting he loved him and knowing he was loved in return, it was too much to form any coherent thoughts. The only thing he could do was feel.

Jisung cupped Hyunjin's cheeks between his hands. His eyes lingered over Hyunjin's lips, and his tongue swiped over his own, wetting them hesitantly. 

“Can I—"

"Kiss me," Hyunjin breathed. 

Jisung rushed into it, but there was no shame in his eagerness. To feel Hyunjin's lips against his was like finally feeling whole, like their relationship had been missing something, the smallest, almost insignificant nothing if they were only meant to be friends, the feeling was unrecognizable behind both of their denial, but it finally surfaced, and the outcome was liberating. 

Hyunjin tasted like the remnants of his tears, salty on Jisung's tongue as he worked his way into the olders mouth and gained control, but he didn't even care. He was everything, and Jisung just wanted him to know it. 

Hyunjin pulled away with a soft moan. 

"I love you," he reminded the younger, smiling shyly.

Jisung cooed, "I love you too."

"So does this mean we're..." Hyunjin looked away and squeezed Jisung's hand, hoping it spoke for more than what he could say. 

"I'm all yours," Jisung promised. He ran his fingers across the inside of Hyunjin's wrist, blinking endearingly with a pout. "Are you—"

"I'm yours." 

Jisung took over the moment again and pulled Hyunjin into his arms, giggling as the older let out a surprised yelp but eased into the feeling of his arms wrapping around his torso. He peppered kisses across his neck, smiling at the feel of goosebumps forming beneath his lips.

Hyunjin reached up to Jisung's cheek, fingertips grazing at his chin enough to send tingles across the blonds tanned skin.

"Jisung?" 

Jisung nuzzled Hyunjin contently, his heart skipping a beat.

"Yeah?"

Hyunjin mused as he looked at him, memorizing every inch of his face in a new light. It seemed what he needed had always been here. 

"I'm happy you're the somebody I was looking for all along."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
